My mom once told me, “Love who loves you.”
But I thought we were supposed to love everyone unconditionally; that if you kept showing up and being kind, it would eventually be reciprocated.
Years later, I’m finally putting her advice into practice. I’m all in with those who love me back.
Growing up has taken away so many of the fantasies I used to hold onto. It’s nothing like I thought it would be.
I’ve watched relationships change and dissolve once people stopped being forced to show up out of obligation. It’s been equal parts sad and fascinating.
It’s part of the reason I don’t idealize family dynamics in my work. Instead, I try to create space — and tools — for the harder conversations: death, bullying, transitions, and the courage to be yourself.